I was bored...

...So I decided to copy and paste this survey from my friend's blog. Enjoy reading about me!


A
– Available: Sure, why not.
– Age: 21
– Animals: I'm an animal lover. Especially when it comes to dogs.
B
– Beer: Not a big fan.
– Best friends: Annie. I kind of lost contact with all the others.
– Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes and lips. Oh, and butt.
– Best feeling in the world: I don't know... love?
– Best weather: Hot and sunny.
– Been in Love: I've had plenty of crushes, but I wouldn't say I've ever really been in love.
– Been on stage: I was in a couple classroom plays and a play at my friend's church. I was also in drama club for a couple of years. Ah, memories.
– Believe in Magic: In a young girls heart? No.
– Believe in Santa: No, but I wish he was real.
– Brand: Of what? You have to be more specific.
C
– Candy: Chocolate. And Skittles. But not chocolate Skittles.
– Color: I like a lot of colors, but I'm partial to red.
– Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate, definitely.
- Chinese/Indian/Italian: Italian. And Mexican. Why is that not an option? Racist!
- Cake or pie: Cake. Unless the pie is of the pumpkin variety.
– Cheese: I want all the cheese.

D
– Day or Night: I'm pretty much a night owl.
– Dancing in the rain: That sounds pretty stupid.

E
– Eyes: I like 'em big and dark. Or green.
– Ever failed a class?:I failed math in tenth grade, and just barely passed math in eleventh.
– Enemies: Not that I'm aware of.
– Exercise: I try to.

F
– First thoughts waking up: Usually, I'm trying to remember the dreams I had the night before.
– Food: Yum.

G
– Greatest Fear: Dying without really having lived.
– Get along with your parents: Most of the time.

H
– Hair Color: Brown with random bits of red and blond because I'm a mutt.
– Happy: Generally.
– Holiday: Halloween or GTFO. Also Christmas is pretty cool.

I
– Ice Cream: Chocolate malt.
J
– Jewelry: I like earrings, especially hoops and studs, but i always loose the studs.
– Job: Part time retail. It's not really cutting it.
K
– Kids: I want a boy, three girls, and another boy in that order. Yes, I know I'm insane.
– Kickboxing or karate: I used to want to take karate when I was a kid. Still kinda do.
– Keep a journal?: I kept a diary for a couple of years that I actually wrote in pretty often. But not any more. I do have notebooks that I write stories in. Most of the are terrible and some of them are okay.

L
– Love: Is awesome and terrible.
– Laughed so hard you cried: It's one of my favorite things to do.
M
- Milk flavor: Chocolate. (that's like, the sixth time I typed "chocolate." Seventh.)
– Movies: I don't really have any certain genre I watch. I guess mostly horrors, comedies, and dramas. I love it when the dramas are funnier than the comedies.
– Motion sickness: Nope. Never had it.

N
– Number: uh, 7, I guess. I don't really know why.

O
– One wish: Ooh, that's a hard one. Gonna have to get back to you on that.

P
– Perfect Pizza: Thin, crispy crust with lots of not-too-salty-but-still-flavorful cheese and a moderate amount of sauce. Mwah!
– Pepsi/Coke: They're both fine.
– Perfume/Cologne: Can't stand either.

Q
– Quail: Just makes me think of Quail Man.

R
– Reason to cry: Usually over stress.
– Reality T.V: I don't think I ever watch reality TV besides what I see on "The Soup." Does "Jeopardy" count?
– Radio Station: I listen to Free Beer and Hot Wings a lot. But that's not really a radio station.

S
– Song: Right now I'm a little obsessed with late '90's/early '00's music in general. And the indie music from The Sims 3. Great, now you know I'm a dork.
– Shoe size: About a 9.
– Salad Dressing: Yuck.
– Skinny dip: Never done it, but it sounds fun.
– Strawberries/Blueberries: In baked goods, blueberries. Outside of that, I'm not much of a berry person.
– Sport: I haven't played in a while, but I used to like volleyball. And I love swimming.
- Sex: Bom chicka wah wah!

T
– Tattoos?: I have one on my shoulder. I'd like to get more someday, but I'm not in a rush.
– Thunderstorms: Love 'em. I think they're relaxing.

U
– Unpredictable: Not really. My cracking lame jokes all the time is pretty expected.

V
– Vacation spot(s): Anywhere I haven't been before. Excluding dangerous places.

W
– Weakness: I'm a little stupid.
– Who makes you laugh the most: I probably laugh the most when I'm with Anne. Most likely because of the shear amount of retarded jokes we share.
– Worst Weather?: Bitter cold and a shit-ton of snow. Fuck that noise.

X
– X-Rays: I've had a few.

Y
-Year it is now: 2011
-Yellow: I used to hate it but now I'm kind of warming up to it. Get it? Because it's a warm color. Please forgive me. It's 1:30 in the morning.

Z
–Zoo animal: I don't like zoos.

Fin.

Not Funny Comic

Not Funny Comic

How old is Bob Barker, anyway? Like 90-something? Anyway, I wanted to post this one ASAP, because if Bob Barker were to die before this was posted, it would just sit in my Paint folder for years. Not that that's a vital piece of information or anything. I'll just stop talking now.

Not Funny Comics #Something

On an unrelated note, there's no way this company didn't realize there was a giant dick in their ad campaign.
That's not so bad, but this is...



Enjoy these dongs!

Not Funny Comics#3

Well, I guess it's been about a week since I posted anything so...

Yeah, it's not that good.

Not Funny Comics #2

I'd just like to say: ha ha, #2.

This is the actual first sketch of "The Simpsons." By Matt Groening, 1986.

Not Funny Comics #1

Long time No See

Here's the good news: I'm back and I will soon be posting new things. Now the bad news: I don't know if Sunday Comics Massacre will be back. It's a lot of work for not much reward.

I might start posting Not Funny Comics: The Comic That is Just Weird. Also stories and stuff.

So, yeah. Good to be back, I guess.

SCM: Better Late Than Never Edition

The First SCM On D-bo 9,000!

Here it is. The moment you've all been waiting for. Ladies and gentlemen, Sunday. Comics. Massacre!

In Honor of Mr. Salinger

A Note: As an homage to "The Catcher in the Rye," I will be using a gratuitous amount of italics in this post. And it will be a little rambling.

So, Yeah. J.D. Salinger, author of one of my favorite books, died a few days ago. I'm not a fan of his short stories, but "The Catcher in the Rye" was my favorite book for years and is still in the top two. And Holden Caulfield is still my favorite literary character (I've drawn him countless times and even made a little figurine of him). Which is an impressive feat, considering that Holden should be an unlikeable little snot-nosed shit. I mean, think about it: Holden is an upper-middle class kid who goes to an expensive boarding school that could get him into any college he wants. He's not an idiot, either. So, if he just tried, even just a little bit, he would be able to go so far in life. He has so much just handed to him and all he does is bitch about it. You want to hate him so much while you're reading it, but Salinger worked some kind of magic, because Holden is one of the most lovable characters in literary history. There's just something so... genuine about him.
I don't know if it's because I read it at a time in my life when I was feeling pretty much what Holden was feeling or what. But I do know that I will probably never stop loving it. And loving Holden. It's pretty much a part of my life now. And it's the book that gave me an enthusiasm for reading that I hadn't experienced since I was reading books with pictures in them.
"Catcher" is really a wonderful book. It doesn't have that kind of stuffy stuck-up feeling that a lot of classic literature does. It's not pretentious. It's just a tongue-in-cheek story about a kid who's overwhelmed by life and doesn't know what to do about it. Or, actually, knows what to do about it, but lacks the motivation to actually do it. That's something a lot if, if not most, people that age can relate to. As stupid as this sounds, (well, the whole post sounds stupid)I think it should be required reading for all adolescents.
So, anyways, here's a page from a graphic novel adaptation I've been working on for forever. Maybe I'll post more soon.

DISNEY OBESITY

Yes. I'm recycling a post from my old blog. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Anyway, enjoy!

Also, if anybody can think of anything for Mulan to say, leave it in the comments.

:(

Oh, Hey. I Didn't See You There.

I will be merging my other blog with this one in the very near future. I'll post (almost) all of my posts from my other blog here. So get ready for a shit-ton of "new" posts.

Good Riddance to a Bad Decade

Wow, you guys, this was a really shitty decade. It started off with the worst terror attack in U.S. history. (Followed by two unwinnable wars, a whole bunch of awful terrorist attacks around the world, and 9 years of almost crapping our pants every time a plane flew a little low. ) Then came the worst natural disaster in U.S. history. Not to mention the the 2004 tsunami, the earthquake in China, etc... And to top off the shit sundae, the world economy nearly collapsed and now a lot of people are homeless and/or unemployed. Oh, and let's not forget that 2009 was the year that just about every actor, musician, politician, and pitchman died.

And on a personal note, the last half of this decade was pretty rough for me.

Here's to hoping that the next ten years is much better. For all of us.

So, thanks for the memories, '00's. Now fuck off.

"What Christmas Means to Me" by D-bo: age 19

Holy shit, you guys! Christmas is almost here! In case you couldn't tell by my gratuitous use of exclamation points, I'm pretty excited. Seriously, Christmas is my second-favorite holiday. I don't think I know one person who wouldn't agree with this statement:
Christmas is awesome!

I know a lot of you cynical types are sitting in a Starbucks reading this on your Macbook, sipping your fancy coffee thinking "Bah Humbug! (I might've stolen that part.) Christmas is so commercialized!" Oh gee! Thanks for opening my eyes to the consumerist bullshit, Che Guevara! I'm no longer one of the sheeple!

I'm not talking about that Christmas. I'm talking about the warm, fuzzy Christmas. The Christmas that, for a few weeks a year, brings out the best in people and restores your faith in humanity. (Something I've been lacking lately.) I know it's schmaltzy, but when I see a Salvation Army volunteer out there in the freezing cold, ringing that sad, little bell in hopes of collecting some spare change for charity, it brings a tear to my cold, cynical eye. (Shut up!) I think I might volunteer to do something like that this year.

Anyway, warm and fuzzy. That's what I was talking about. I love that feeling. See, I'm pretty much an athiest, so Christmas for me isn't a religious holiday. To me, it's more of a celebration of the good in humanity and a chance to show those you care about that, well, you care about them.

I love Christmas traditions. I love shopping for the people I love. I love seeing all the decorations. And for that little period, I don't even mind if it snows. I also love watching almost every Christmas special that comes on. (Except "Rudolf." I find it incredibly boring. Also, it sounds suspiciously like Adolf. More like "Rudolf the Red Nosed Nazi!") It fills me with that happy feeling I used to get when I was a kid. Not the "Yay! Presents!" feeling, but the it's- Christmas!-everything-is-great! feeling. And for some reason, as many times as I've seen it, "The Grinch" still makes my heart grow three sizes every time I watch it.

But, there are a couple of bone(r)s (sorry, I couldn't resist) that I have to pick with Christmas:

1.) It starts way to freaking early. This year, I saw the first Christmas commercial of the year weeks, yes weeks before Halloween. Hey Christmas, it's not enough that you're the most popular holiday in the Western World? Now you have to encroach on Halloween's territory? It was a bad enough when you were doing it to poor Thanksgiving* Now you're just getting desperate. And there's no need to be. As I said before, you're awesome. Just be yourself. Over-exposure is a bad thing. By the time you finally arrive, I feel like puking mistletoe and tiny, stringed lights.

2.) The closer you get to Christmas, the more you dread it. The more you realize that you have to spend too much time with your family, the more you wish Christmas would never come. (I know it sounds whiney, but I geniunely don't enjoy spending time with my family.) I'm sure other annoyances will come to me but right now, that's the only one I can think of. (because it's still two months until Christmas.)

But, Christmas is so cool, that every year, even though I sort of hate it and I know I sort of hate it and I remember sort of hating it last year, it gives me hope that this time will be different. That this will be the best Christmas ever.

*Speaking of Thanksgiving, the Christmas Season shouldn't start until Santa makes his at the Macy's Day Parade.

**Also speaking of thanksgiving, this is also my Thanksgiving post. it's such a sad little "holiday," nestled in between the two most kickass holidays. Nobody really notices it. It doesn't even get a whole day. By the time Thanksgivng evening rolls around, noone's even thinking about Thanksgiving anymore. As soon as Santa comes on, it's Christmas. Even it's own parade isn't named after it. If you pay attention, most people call it Macy's Day Parade. They're not even considerate enough to call it Macy's Thankgiving Day Parade. Sorry Thankgiving, but you do kinda suck.

Spooooky Story with an Anti-Climactic Ending

It's 7:00 at night on Friday, DEcember 28th. Alexis types on her keyboard in her cubicle. She'd always given everything she could to even the most miniscule of tasks. Since her report isn't done, she'll stay until it's finished.
it's dark. No moon, no stars. The floresant lights flicker on and off, making a monotonous buzzing. The wind kicks up and blows a bare tree branch aginst the large window next to Alexis's head. It makes a sudden, loud, scraping noise and she jumps in her seat.
Lightning. A large streak lights up the parking lot. She types faster. Her computer freezes.
"Son of a bitch!" She hits the side of her computer in a vein attempt to unfreeze it.
A bolt of lightning hits the power lines. Everything goes dark. She turns around to face the opening of her cubicle.
The sound of wind blowing through the 100-year-old building like the sighs of thousands of lost souls.
Lightning flashes. A dark figure runs across the opening of the cubicle. Alexis gasps.
A loud bang. She runs out into the twisted corridor, wondeing with every step, what lies behind the flimsy walls. Footsteps. Getting louder. Alexis, always somewhat of an athiest, begins to pray. To whom she doesn't know. Why, she is araid to imagine. Footsteps. Getting louder, still. Her legs go numb. She falls. Can't speak. Can't cry. Can't scream. She closes her eyes tight and wishes it all away.
Hot beath on her neck. She can hear it breathing. She whimpers.
"Excuse me," It's talking. An ancient, cracking voice. "You dropped you pen." It places it in Alexis's hand. The lights come back on.
On Monday, she quits.

MOVIES!

Let's talk about movies for a little bit, shall we? (I don't care if you say "no," you're still going to listen to me ramble.) There are quite a few movies out, or coming out soon, in theaters that I'd like to see, which is rare. Usually, I'm the cynical type when it comes to movies. And even if there is one out that I'd like to see, most of the time, I can wait until it comes out on DVD. But lately, and maybe this is just because I'm broke, I've been seeing trailers for movies that I'd actually shill out $10 to watch. Not including the cost of snacks and drinks, of course. (I, like all red-blooded Americans, sneak them in.)

So, the first movie I want to talk about is this one I've wanted to see for a while. It's called "Paranormal Activity" and it's opening nation-wide tomorrow. In case you live in a cave and don't have access to a computer, (how are you reading this?) it's been getting a lot of buzz on the internet and it's been generally positive. It's getting so much buzz, that I'm worried about it not living up to the hype.
As a horror fan, it's really exciting to see how many good reviews it's getting, talking about how it messes with you when you're in bed at night and how you won't feel safe in your own home. In case you're not one of us, this is a horror fan's wet dream.
But I have to be careful to not get my hopes up too high. I've been burned before. For example, "Rosemary's Baby" is supposed to be one of the scariest movies ever. So, a little while ago, I finally rented it. It sucked.
But, I'm still pretty psyched about this movie. It's been a long time since I've seen a good scary movie. If you're a horror fan, you know what I mean when I say a horror movie is either fan-fucking-tastic or it's absolute shit. Where-as most horror movies are the latter, (I'm looking at you, "Saw" franchise!) "Paranormal Activity" really seems like it's going to be one of those movies that comes out and validates your reasons for being a fan of the genre. If it's not, I will be severely disappointed and my theoretical movie-boner will shrivel up and fall off.

When I first saw the trailer for "The Invention of Lying," I really wanted to see it. I'd call myself a fan of Ricky Gervais. Not hardcore, but I've seen some of his stuff and I liked it. The part in the trailer when he tells the woman he saved a baby from a burning building and a bear had me cracking up. I think that the premise is very original and I'm surprised that nobody'd come up with it before. Needless to say, I was pretty excited to see what Gervais would do with it. But then I read a review. I believe it was written by my favorite critic, Roger Ebert. (EDIT: It was not.) It said "Lying" is just another romantic comedy where the chubby loser chases after the girl. Even though I haven't seen it, I'm willing to bet money he succeeds. So, I'm not going to see that one. maybe I will when it comes out on DVD...maybe.

Then there's this one called "Law Abiding Citizen." Stupid title, yes, but the movie looks really interesting and intense. I love movies where the villain/criminal/what-have-you is a total psychopath. Like Heath Ledger's Joker (the only good thing about "The Dark Knight" other than the special effects.) or the guy in "Se7en." Criminal masterminds are intriguing.

I saw this trailer for the first time just the other night. It's called "The Men Who Stare at Goats." It looks pretty interesting and kinda funny. Although, I have to admit that I mainly just want to see it because of the title. It makes me think of two old men who sit on their front porch in some rural shit-sack town and literally just stare at goats all day. In fact, I'm a little sad that that's not what the it's about. It still looks pretty good, though.

I've been waiting to see "The Princess and the Frog" since Disney first announced it. I'm really excited about it for three reasons. 1)It's Disney's return to 2-D animation. Don't get me wrong. CGI is fine. It just shouldn't be used in all animated movies. Especially not a Princess movie. That would be blasphemy! 2)It's Disney's first black princess, so, that's pretty cool. I still can't believe that we elected a black man to the highest office in the nation before Disney released a movie starring a black princess. 3)Speaking of Disney and racial sensitivity, I want to see if Disney can make it through one movie without being racist.*

People have been talking about "2012" for a while now. I have to admit that I'm pretty anxious to see it. In one of the tailers, this family is trying to to escape from something (an earthquake?) and as they're driving, the highway is collapsing around them and buildings are falling down and shit and it's fucking AWESOME! I couldn't take my eyes off it. If it was that cool on my shitty little computer screen, I can't imagine what it's going to look like on the big screen. Actually yes, I can. FUCKING AWESOME!!! That's how it's going to look! Sometimes, you gotta be a 10-year-old boy. Even if you are a 20-year-old woman.

And that's D-bo on movies. Good-bye.

*On the subject of racism in "The Princess and the Frog," I think Disney has gotten a lot of undeserved negative attention regarding this movie. Yes, Disney has a history of being, well, racist, but I don't see anything awful about this movie so far. First, they changed the main character's name from Maddy to Tiana. People were complaining that Maddy sounded too muck like "mammy." Okay, I can see how people would be offended by that. Understandable. Then they changed her profession from a maid to a chef because people were complaining that it would give little black girls the idea that all they could be is a servant. That's where it gets a little ridiculous. The thing is, the movie takes place in New Orleans in the 1920's. It wouldn't be uncommon for a young black woman back then to be a maid. I don't think Disney meant anything racist by this. And then, people started complaining about the race of the prince. They left it ambiguous, but he certainly isn't black. People complained that it doesn't give little black boys anybody to look up to. Little girls idolize princesses, but little boys don't idolize princes. That's why there's a Disney princess line, but not a Disney prince line.

Some of My Favorite Pictures (Form teh internetz)

The quality is shitty, but I believe that is a child writhing in terror as Vampire Mickey goes in for the kill.


This woman is my new hero.

Made it m'self, I did!

This picture is pure awesome!

I'm not totally sure what's going on here, but I think this guy lost a bet.

This picture is so... It's just... I don't even know what to say.

Growing up in the '90's on a healthy dose of Disney, I can say, without hyperbole, that this is one of the best things I've ever seen.

It's very fun!

I hate to put a meme up here, but how could I not?

The 10-year-old side of me just can't resist this.

Simple. Hilarious. Simply hilarious.

DEEEESSSEEEE NNNNNNUUUUUUTTTSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

That burrito looks so yummy. Just looking at it makes me hungry.

I don't know if this is photoshopped or not, but I desperately hope it's not. Actually, come to think of it, it's probably not. I mean, have you ever smelled Nelson Mandela? The man smells like a field full of wild flowers!

Can you imagine touching a fucking WHALE?! Holy shit!

I know it's old, but it's still fucking funny.